I just finished reading
Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham Jr. I am newly aware of the task ahead of me as a parent. Is it really a task though...wow, what a blessing God has given me in children. Maybe better, a responsibility and privilege to point them to Christ. And then again, I don't want to just point them to Christ. I want them to be enveloped by His love and know Him like they know their own breath.
Baucham writes, "More teens are turning away from the faith than ever before: it is estimated that as many as 70-88% of teens who profess Christianity walk away from their faith by the end of their freshman year of college. Something must be done."
If I had read this statistic in college (and I went to a "Christian" one by the way), I would have not been shocked in the slightest. And I probably would have added some cynical remark like, Who can blame them? I endearingly coined the phrase "The Halls of Hell" to describe my high school. Really, I don't think any of us are unaware of the temptations that will eventually greet that silly 4 year old that's putting a puzzle together on the floor and making me laugh, because he can wiggle his head and his leg all at the same time...and the precious baby that's sleeping peacefully in the next room...
What about those things though that don't appear to be a problem?
(Side note: questions that I pose from here on out are not directed at you. I'm not judging you or the way you parent or did parent. I'm merely debriefing a minuscule amount of info that is swarming in my head and the questions I have been posing to myself.)
Voddie discusses the Anti-marriage and Anti-child culture that we live in. It is accustom to wait to get married and have children before you have "found yourself". I guess this means until your career takes off and you have experienced everything you feel you need to in life before restricting yourself in any way. And definitely not before you finish college! So after your "self" is no longer MIA and you are "ready" for children, 2 or 3 will be more than we can afford or have room for. Plus, we have to have time left to enjoy ourselves when the children are out of the house. (I personally have great plans to run a bed and breakfast)
Why did I not see before how selfish this timeline is?
Why do we judge Christian families for how many or few children they have or what we think they can afford?
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22
"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
So are the children of one's youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
They will not be ashamed
When they speak with their enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5
When did being a Mom stop being honorable? I wanted more than anything to be a "Stay at home Mom". Then when I was blessed enough to be just that, I found it difficult to embrace it. My old boss even asked "what I was doing now" a while back and I told him I was loving staying home to raise my kids and... I was catering and doing taxes on the side. As if the on the side stuff verified my existence. He teased me about "just" being a stay at home mom, because I was "capable of so much more". He meant it as a compliment and sadly, I think I sort of took it as one.
Which leads me to the meat of the book, which is that parents are responsible for discipling their children. Doesn't sound all that profound, does it? How much discipling am I doing though? An average Christian family goes to church. Has their kids in Sunday school and/or youth group. They're involved in all the extra church functions, service projects and mission trips. The kids are involved in quality activities, for example, sports or dance. And maybe the kids even go to a Christian school. Do you worship as a family in church or does everyone go their own way? Do you worship together as a family at home? Do you discuss and read the Bible together as a family? Do you memorize scripture together as a family? Do you pray together as a family outside of meal time? Do we refrain from doing too much of this, as to not shake up the norm or appear odd?
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6
I talked with a family a while ago that was clinging to this verse because their teenager was "beyond their control" and felt like the only thing they could do was pray for them at that point. You can guarantee I'll be praying for my children as teenagers; I am praying for them now. I want to do so much more than that though. God has given us a huge and wonderful responsibility. Don't miss the opportunity to instill in these precious lives, what noone else but you as parents can.
Pray for Bryce and I, that we will be the primary discipling force in our children's lives. That we will not only point them in the way they should go, but walk there with them.
